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Grief Is Love Looking for Somewhere to Go

 We spend so much time trying to get rid of grief.

We tell people to stay busy.

Stay strong.

Move on.

Keep their chin up.

We search for the right words, hoping they'll somehow lessen the pain.

But what if grief isn't the enemy?

What if grief is simply love…looking for somewhere to go?

When we think of grief, most of us think of death. Yet grief shows up in countless forms throughout our lives.

We grieve the end of a marriage.

The retirement we thought we'd celebrate.

A miscarriage and the future we had already begun imagining.

The loss of our health.

The children who grow up and leave home.

The career that once gave us purpose.

Even the version of ourselves we used to be.

Grief isn't limited to losing someone we love. Often, we're grieving the life we expected to live.

That's why every grief story is different.

No one grieves correctly.

No one grieves incorrectly.

Every journey is uniquely human.

Perhaps the greatest mistake we make is believing grief needs to be fixed.

When someone we care about is hurting, we instinctively search for something to say.

"Everything happens for a reason."

"They're in a better place."


"I know how you feel."

The intention is loving.

But often, what a grieving heart needs isn't advice.

It needs presence.

Healing rarely begins because someone finally hears the perfect words.

Healing begins when someone feels safe enough to feel exactly what they're feeling.

As coaches, friends, parents, spouses, or simply fellow human beings, our role isn't to make grief disappear.

Our role is to create a space where it can be honored.

Over time, something beautiful begins to happen.

The sharp edges soften.

The pain slowly transforms.

Not because we stop loving.

But because love finds a new place to live.


It may become a tradition.

A charity.

A story told around the dinner table.

A quiet smile instead of tears.

A life lived in honor of someone who changed ours forever.

Love never disappears.

It simply changes form.

So maybe grief isn't asking us to let go.

Maybe it's asking us to carry love differently.

And perhaps that's one of life's greatest invitations.

Not to stop loving...

but to discover a new place for that love to live.

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