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July 7th, 2019 - The Enneagram as a Tool for Self Discovery


What’s Your Enneagram Type?

Knowing the answer can give you powerful insight into who you are, how you interpret the world, and why you react to situations, people and and personality types in a particular way. 

The Enneagram is a nine pointed star with a circle around it.  This symbol dates all the way back to the ancient Sufi’s and was brought into Europe during the crusades and used by the Catholic Church and then Russian mystic and philosopher George Ivanovich Gurdjieff.  

Eventually this ancient symbol made it to America and each of the nine points on the star now represents a personality type.  There are 9 different ways of seeing and experiencing every situation and knowing your type can free you from some patterns and perceptions that might not be working for you. 

Here’s a quick over view of the nine types and there are many tests online and ways for you to figure out your type but read a little here and see which sounds like you when you were in your mid twenties.  Apparently this is the time in most of our lives in which we are most like our enneagram type. 

Type One - The Perfectionist or the Reformer 

The One’s I know are sharp minded observant driven people who have a keen eye and appreciation for balance, and order.  They take comfort in aesthetic beauty and can usually spot what is out of order, off balance or distracting from the beauty.  They are often really good at getting things started and completed and finish tasks with attention to detail and deadlines.  

One’s play fair and follow the rules.  They loath to cut corners and integrity is highly valued.  They can take on crusades and become activists towards reform and improvement of our world.

And like all the types they have their challenges.  That comfort with balance can also be a real discomfort with lack of balance and a streak toward perfectionism that can sometimes leave them paralyzed.  Fear of getting something wrong of making a mistake or being imperfect can stop them from taking action.  Their inner critic can be more intense than the other types and at times they turn that same drive toward perfection on friends, employees, and their beloved. They sometimes find the need to express what is wrong or what they don’t like even when attempting to give a compliment.  “You finally fixed your porch.  It looks so nice.”  A compliment but it the phrase “finally fixed” leaves the person receiving this compliment feeling criticized.

One’s often have an agenda and find it difficult to slow down and enjoy the moment when work needs to be done.  

Type Two - The Giver/Lover 

I love the Two’s in my life and at Sedona Soul Adventures we have an abundance of this type.  Two’s are drawn to healing and counseling work because it allows them to love and give for a living.  

A two will often know what you need before you’re even aware that you need it and give it to you before you ever have to ask.  They tend to be generous with their time, their abundance and their caring.  

But all this giving isn’t always altruistic.  Many Two’s have a core wound that says “I don’t matter” and give to compensate and to matter in our lives.  Two’s when honest with themselves can spot the strings attached to their gifts.  They have a hard time imagining that anyone would not want what they have so generously given and can easily end up in a Rescuer, Victim, Perpetrator triangle.  This is when you rescue someone and instead of being grateful they resent you, treat you like a perpetrator and you end up feeling like a victim.  

Two’s tend to over give and get resentful.  They give to everyone except to themselves and no one gives to a Two the way they give to everyone else.  

Type Three - The Performer/Achiever

The threes I know have somewhat of a star quality to them.  They have the ability to achieve like no other.  They’re often the best and the brightest winning awards, acclaim, and accolades.  They always put their best foot forward and let the world see the best of who they are.  Life is a show and the Three is the star. 

And their challenge is to just be themselves even if that means looking bad.  Three’s detest looking bad.  If something makes them look bad, they will omit it and at their worst may even lie or cover up to avoid being exposed.  They can become obsessed with how others perceive them. 

A classic Three core wounds  are “I’m not enough”, and “If they really knew me they wouldn’t like me”  They fear rejection.

Type Four - The Romantic / Creative Individualist

The Four’s I know are often artistic, creative, one of a kind sort of people.  They pride themselves in being unique and working “outside the box” and coloring “out side the lines”.  They are romantic and sensitive by nature and feel things on a deeper level than others. 

Four’s are unique and special.  Often times they are convinced that no personality type could ever define them and of all the types they can be the most resistant to being typed. 

Their strengths can turn into challenges.  Being so sensitive can make them prone to melancholy and depression.  Being unique can attract drama into their lives.  Though they may profess to hate drama their life story can have plenty of it.  

Being unique can be a blessing and a curse.  Their problems can be uniquely terrible and they often feel like their the only ones to have ever suffered the way they have. 

Type Five - The Observer / Thinker

The five’s I know are usually extremely bright and most geniuses I’ve known are Fives.  They have a keen intellect and an ability to observe people and situations and problems from a unique detached perspective.  

Fives thrive in academia, science, math, and study.  They make excellent engineers, professors, researchers, scientists, computer programers.  Many Fives I’ve known are either musicians or have a love and an ear for music.

Their challenge is often people.  It’s easy for a five to feel like an outsider.   If I’m having a large party it is rare that my friends who are five’s show up and when they do they find a spot in the house or the backyard to hang out and observe.  At group meetings I’ll spot the 5’s on the outside edge of the group taking a seat where they can observe the entire room.  

A five may be apt to prefer the company of a good book rather than light banter and pointless conversations. Fives can sometimes be hermits lost in their studies and disconnected from the external world.

Type Six - The Questioner / Security Seeker
The Sixes I know are investigators with an unsociable curiosity.  They are loyal and skeptical.  They like to know how and why things work and have this natural awareness of potential dangers.  

I have coached a number os Sixes who are anesthesiologists, surgeons, pilots, detectives and prosecutors.  They are aware of the worst case scenario and take precautions to make certain everyone is safe.

But being the fear type has it’s challenges.  It’s very hard for a six to trust that everything is really going to turn out for the best.  They will naturally be aware of how things can go wrong. They will naturally find themselves playing devil’s advocate which can turn into “Debby Downer” (A character from Saturday Night Live who always shared the worst case scenario with everyone)  

Sixes bring reason and balance and focus to relationships that other types sometimes lack and this can lead to conflict. 

Type Seven - The Adventurer / Epicurean 

The Sevens I know are positive upbeat and often high energy people.  They have brilliant ideas, and bring a lot of inspiration to others.  They have a zest for life and love adventure and starting projects.  They are often out going and like to try lots of different things.  

Sevens are pleasure seekers and conflict avoiders.  They tend to see the bright side of things and like to say yes to anything that holds a chance for fun. 

Their challenge can be going deep. If going deep and being serious involves dipping toe into negativity they will avoid it.  While they love starting projects, finishing them up can be a real challenge.  

Their love for a taste of everything can lead to a bit of attention deficit and trouble focusing on one task at a time.  Most of the seven’s I know have a bit of ADD or ADHD.  

Most Sevens love being Sevens and more than a few once they learn about the enneagram will brag and boast about their type.  Their desire to experience all life has to offer and their taste for pleasure can make them glutenous.  

Type Eight - Leader / Aggressor

Eights are natural leaders.  They run companies, the make brilliant lawyers, they are drawn to positions of power.  Their desire to protect accounts for their high numbers in law enforcement and the military. 

Eights are direct and to the point.  They can be great at moving people into action and at their best are very assertive in asking and getting what they want from others and the world. 

Eights are comfortable in their anger and at times can be the angriest of all the types.  When harnessed appropriately this anger can turn to a passion for righting the wrongs of the world and make them a positive force for change. 

That same comfort in anger can also make them insensitive to the impact they’re having on others.  Eights get called bossy, controlling, and their authoritative nature can make them appear to be dictators.  

Assertive directness can become a mean streak.  Eights have a deep need to be right and while they are often correct they’re not always right and often have to choose between being happy or being right.  

Eights usually grew up learning that the only one they can really count on is themselves so they can have big trust issues.  

Type Nine - The Peacemaker/ Moderator

I am a nine.  The first time I read the description of all nine types I was certain I was all the types except for maybe the Eight.  I was taking a course in The Enneagram and asked the teacher, “What type are you if you are certain you are all the types?”  And he said, “You are likely the nine.”  

The nine is a bit of chameleon.  We shift who we are according to circumstance and who we are with.  Our automatic response to questions like “Where do you want to go for lunch?”  is “Wherever you want!”.

We can see all sides of an issue and often help two sides find common ground.  Being a nine comes in handy for the work I do but not all the time. 

I find it hard to confront my clients.  It has taken me years to be able to share observations that might put us in conflict.  Nines loath conflict and subscribe to the motto “Peace at all Price”.  That’s not always a good thing.  I will make compromises that are against my own good and can easily then turn into a martyr or get very passive aggressive.  

Nines at their worst are the most passive aggressive of all types and even though they hate anger they can be the angriest of all the types. 

Most Nines have a cycle.  We can put up with a lot and just go along for a long time, but eventually we break.  For some of us and on some issues it can take years of unhappiness before we’re done.  In some cases it only takes weeks.  But in all cases we are unapt to express our displeasure until one day we’ve had enough.  Then rather than create conflict we simply move on. 

I’ve done this mostly with jobs in the past to the surprise of my employer.  Rather than risk conflict and share that I’m underpaid, overworked or unhappy, I have a history of finding another job and moving on.  

I know many a nine who has done this with primary relationships.  These nines will put up and shut up for years then one day tell their spouse they’re no longer in love and their leaving.  

We’re nice guys until all of a sudden we’re not. 

We are not just our types.  Some of us borrow aspects from the types to either side of us on the circle.  These are called wings.  I have a streak of perfectionism which is my one wing and some natural leadership abilities which is my 8.  I can also have that streak of vengeance that comes from the eight but not often.  

They types across from us… where the lines of the nine pointed star run also influence our behaviors.  When stressed I can take on the worst aspects of the Six becoming the devils advocate and sharing the worst case scenarios.  When I’m feeling really good about myself then I add in the positive aspects of the three becoming a real performer/achiever.   That’s been so true of so much of my life that at first it was hard to tell if I was really a nine or a three. 

Your type is best reflected by your motivation.  I’m more motivated to avoid conflict and keep the peace than I am to achieve.  The nine really does best describe my primary motivation throughout my life especially when I was in my mid 20’s. 

Once you know your type you are free from it.  When I spot my Nineness I no longer have to act as a nine.  I can then choose to respond to my world from the highest aspect of any of the types.  I can choose to find the glass half full and become a seven.  Or I can harness the powerful ability one’s have to get things done.  Or I can be as direct and assertive as my eight friends.  

Enneagram work is especially wonderful when it comes to relationships.  There’s no perfect pairing of types.  Each pair has their gifts and challenges.  When I know my own type and my partners type then I can appreciate my partners way of seeing the world.  Knowing the various types makes relationships easier.  Instead of seeing my partner as wrong or crazy I can start to understand that they just have a different way of seeing and understanding the world.  

When couples learn the enneagram they end up with an entirely new vocabulary for describing their relationships that is not personal.  “Honey we’re doing that Nine Seven thing again!”  When I can call it out like that I can laugh at it and not get so caught up in what is simply a clash of personality types. 

Through years of studying this and coaching couples through relationship issues I’ve become good at spotting some classic type related conflicts.  For example Eights and Nines can drive each other crazy at times.  The eight’s comfort in anger will scare the nine and the nines conflict avoidance and lack of directness will drive an eight crazy.  But they need each other to be in balance.  The Nine’s lesson in life involves learning to be assertive which comes naturally to the Eight.  And Eight’s can learn to see the world from other people’s point of view something that brings the Nine an ongoing sense of peace and can do the same for the eight. 

I have several resources that I love for learning more about the Enneagram. 

Here are my favorite books: “Essential Enneagram, The Definitive Personality Test and Self-Discovery Guide - Revised & Updated” by David Daniels and Virginia Price. “The Enneagram Made Easy, Discover the 9 Types of People” by Elizabeth Wagele and Renee Baron.

My favorite online Enneagram test is http://enneagramtest.net   but there are many.  Online testing is great for some types and a challenge for others.  I prefer what is called the narrative tradition.  In this type of typing you read paragraphs describing the types and pick the ones that you most identify with.  Then you see if you identify with the types across the line of the star and with one or both of the wings.  The “Essential Enneagram” book has a section on look alike types and questions to ask yourself that help you figure out which type is truly you. 

I learned the Enneagram through the narrative tradition.  This is where you watch panel discussions of various types talk about their lives, their relationships, their gifts and their challenges.  

You can do some of this these days online by just going to youtube and searching for “Enneagram Type (Fill in the number) panel discussion”.  The course I took on the enneagram was ten weeks with a week devoted to hearing from each type.  After watching a panel of nines all share, I knew for sure I was a nine. 

When you’ve figured out your type let me know!  I love using the enneagram in my life coaching work with people.  It’s such a great tool. 


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