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A Quick Way to Discover if you Really Do Love Yourself








If you’ve started down the road of self improvement, read any books, spent any time in therapy or done just about any work on yourself then you likely already know the importance of loving one’s self.  

You’ve likely already heard, that you can’t truly love another until you fully love yourself.  That the emptiness you’re seeking to fill with the love of another first needs to be filled with your own love.

If you’ve never read or been told this before, well now you know. If you already know this, are you really doing this?  Most of the clients I work with know full well the value and importance of self love.  They could likely write a blog post all about it.  But many have yet to fully believe they are lovable and as a result are not actually loving themselves or in most cases fear that they don’t truly love themselves.

A part of this comes from having two brains,  the Intellectual and the emotional, the left and the right brain.  This is how we can intellectually know the importance of loving ourselves and intellectually understand the we like all human beings are truly lovable and at the same time emotionally not feel lovable and in our hearts fear that we’re not really loving ourselves. 

Most of us have a few beliefs that are just like this, intellectually very true and emotionally hardly true at all.  

If you’ve experienced my Core Belief Transformation work then you know that it is all about bringing the two hemispheres of our brain into alignment and balance and basically allowing us to feel our intellectual truths.

When it comes to self love and the notion of being lovable most of my clients discover early in our work that they actually do love themselves far more than they thought.  And the same may be true for you.  

Here’s a simple process you can do right now to discover if you really love yourself or not.  Close your eyes, take a few deep relaxing breaths and ask yourself in a really deep way,”How do I react when some one treats me in a non loving way?  What happened the last time someone was mean to me or clearly unloving?  Was I angry or was I resigned?”

If it all angered you, congratulations, you may actually love yourself more than you think.  You see people who truly do not love themselves are resigned to the belief that they just must not be lovable and don’t deserve the love of others.  When someone treats them poorly they accept it with resignation as though it is what they deserve.   

Now if you are feeling this resignation, there are ways of turning this around, and it just means going a little deeper and maybe taking a little longer and starting with the belief that, “Just maybe I am lovable”.

If on the other hand you are feeling anger, then guess what?  You love yourself.  You may have picked up the notion from a parent or other important person in your life that no one really loves themselves, or that it’s selfish to love yourself or that people are not supposed to love themselves.   But on some level you’ve not bought into these ideas because you are angry. 

I find anger in this case as a really good sign and for those on the journey to greater self love anger is inevitable.  Anger says, “I love myself too much to be treated this way!”  Anger is a natural part of evolving into a self loving person.

And anger is a stage that we can evolve beyond and come to see non loving behavior as someone else’s unhealed wound worthy of our compassion.

No matter where you are on your journey to full self love it can help to have a little guidance.  That’s why on this Valentine’s week I’m offering you a gift to yourself.  Sign up for a 90 minute office or 90 minute phone session now and use the code ILUVME1 to get half off.  This will let us do a slightly shorter version of my Core Belief Transformation session (Because you just started the work by reading this blog) which is normally $400 for half off the 90 minute session price (regularly $300) or just $150.  (Offer expires 2/20/20 If you want to gift this as a gift certificate use the coed ILUVEME)

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