Sometimes the most healing moment of a session involves the discovery of anger. I have worked with thousands of people over the years who claimed to be unable to love themselves. Who when we started a process said, “I fear I’m not lovable, I worry that I am not enough.” But when we get back to a wounding moment from their past where someone has treated them as though they were not lovable or not enough their response is not consistent with the response of someone who does not love themselves and believes they are not lovable and not enough. Someone who truly believes they are not lovable, and I’ve worked with many, responds to unloving acts with resignation, grief, pain and sadness but not anger. They say to themselves or to me, “I deserve to be treated like this, I’m not worthy of being loved, there’s something wrong with me, I’m not good enough to be loved.” When we get back to one of those painful memories in which someone close to the ...